Blog Archives - The Remarkable Blog

Happy Valentine's Day

2/14/2018

Happy Valentines Day whether you are married or single or some where in between. We come in all stages, ages, sizes and wages. No matter what place we find ourselves, some body loves us! You may say, "Not me, no one loves me." Yes, Jesus loves you; this I know cause the Bible tells me so. Smile!

If you are feeling unloved or unwanted or rejected today just focus on these scriptures below. Allow Jesus to saturate you with His love. Life won't always feel this way. Feelings change. However, God's love never changes, and He wants to heal you and fill you with His love, now.

Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." Ephesians 4:2:
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." 1 Peter 4:8: “
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." John 15:12: “
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

Love is all about God. God wants you to know you are loved. The best way to receive love is to give love. So, get out there and love on someone today. Make today a day of sowing love to whoever passes your way. Hug a child, visit an elderly person, make your family a love dinner, plan time to love your spouse. Finally more than anything else pour your love onto Jesus. Thank God for your life and your salvation. If your not saved allow God to forgive you through Christ His Son and come to Jesus today.

Both men and women want the man to be the Boss, and so does God.

2/13/2018

Satan desires the destruction of the family, but through Christ and proper understanding of biblical roles, the family can be a strong and safe place to grow spiritually, emotionally as well as physically. Satan hates the family. He hates unity. He hates the reproduction of other God-like beings, because he hates God. So even without the differences between men and women which are enough to cause problems, we still have an enemy wrecking havoc at every opportunity. If as husbands and wives we could just get together and fight him instead of one another, half the battle would be won.

Let me let you in on a little secret men, women want you to be the Boss.

The role of the husband in the Bible starts with leadership. Scripture makes it very clear that a husband must be a leader of his home and have healthy control of his life. 1 Timothy 3; in speaking of two church leadership positions traditionally filled by men, teaches that an Overseer and Deacon must manage their family well. Verse 5 specifically says, “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”

Ephesians 5:21-24 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Again, in 1 Corinthians 11:3, Scripture says, "But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”

One of the primary roles of a husband in the Bible is to be the leader. Leadership simply means influence. Therefore, a biblically-based husband should influence his family. Husbands are not dictators, they should not demand, they should not rule over their wives. Instead, husbands should influence their wives and families in accordance with biblical teaching. They should model, with their voice and their actions, attributes God and show value to their spouse and family. The fruit of a good biblically-based husband is a strong, confident, spiritually mature wife and family.

Two very specific ways a husband influences his home is through his provision and protection.

The role of the husband in the Bible starts with leadership, but encompasses provision and protection. A husband will never influence his wife if he does not care for her. He can demand and she may follow as a result, but he will never truly have her heart unless he provides for her needs, cares for her well-being, and protects her both physically and spiritually. For as Scripture says:"Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19).

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7).

God loves His daughters and the children they bear. When He gives one of His daughters to a man, He desires that the man cares for her. In no place does Scripture teach or endorse that women and children be considered second rate or inferior to men. Instead, He finds them so precious that He asks for special care to be given them; a care that only biblically-based men can provide. Women are very capable of taking care of themselves. However, God did make men and women different and thus due to the physical nature and strength God gave men, He has charged them with the provision and protection of their families.

The physical nature and strength of a man is to be managed with grace and gentleness. God did not create men to lord over women nor did he create women to simply wait on men. He made them both to complement each other through healthy companionship.

Tomorrow we will look at other roles that a man is to play in a family as both husband and father.

Click here to register for this weekends Marriage Seminar: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marriage-seminar-2018-tickets-40111994054

What men want from women part 2.

2/12/2018

I have been reading and researching and praying about our upcoming Marriage Seminar that begins this Friday and Saturday. Some of the things I have read have been so good I just want to share with you in it's entirety. So below you will find one such article. I do not know the author personally, so I am endorsing the article not the author at this point. To avoid copyright infringement I included everything. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

What Men Want: 7 Traits Men Look For In The Lady Of Their Dreams
By Anthony D'Ambrosio. May 4 2015
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For years, we've talked about finding the right woman -- someone we can ride the waves of life with, who will stand by our side for better or for worse.
As a man, committing to The One is among the most important decisions we make in life; some may even argue it is the most important.
The woman we decide to share our world with is the one who will mother our children, help us plan life, pick us up when we're down and make us better men than we are right now.
But, what does the right woman look like in our eyes?
Guille FaingoldFor years, women have been sharing what they want in men, but there's this widely-held stereotype that all we want is the so-called “trophy wife.” I don't agree with that notion.
You see, there's so much that should go into deciding whom to share your life with — characteristics, in a sense, that stand the test of time.
So, what is it we men want in a woman?
1. Character
Being truly beautiful has nothing to do with what you look like, but everything to do with who you are.
I've met quite a few beautiful women in my life whose personalities were as appealing as the dirty concrete in a New York City subway station.
I'm sorry, but it's true.
We want people who put as much time and energy into ensuring they look good as they do into being genuine and real. You know “that girl” you are around your girlfriends?
That's who you really are. Don't be so hesitant to be that way with us.
We see you laugh uncontrollably with your friends, so laugh with us. We love women who have senses of humor and don't take life so seriously.
Be yourself. Order a cheeseburger for lunch. Get ketchup all over your face.
LuminaPut on sweats and a t-shirt when we come over. Skip makeup and don't do your hair. It's all okay; we actually like that.
You know that Drake song when he says, "Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on, that's when you're the prettiest..."?
Well, he's right.
We love when you get dressed up and feel beautiful, but know that you don't need to flip a switch from your real self in order to gain our acceptance.
If there ever comes a point when you feel a need to do that, well, you're just with the wrong man.
2. Respect
How you present yourself says a lot about who you are.
Wearing clothes that accentuate your body is nothing new, nor do I believe it's disrespectful. But, that's not where I am going with this.
In today's society, there's something called social media, and it's basically your résumé for men. Where you go, whom you go with, what you say and how you say it reflects you as an individual.
And, truthfully speaking, men don't want someone who is everywhere, doing everything, with everyone.
Little boys who want the popular girl might, but real men don't play those games.
You can't respect a man if you don't respect yourself. It's not a knock, but seriously, how would that be possible?
We prefer the woman who's sitting home, reading a book as opposed to getting drunk with her friends on the weekends; we prefer the one who's life is kept more low-key, as it makes her more intriguing.
Alexey KuzmaThe less we know about someone's life, the more interesting that person becomes. It forces us to engage, to inquire, to seek out.
Our conversations with you gain substance, and this becomes appealing.
If we know everywhere you've been and everything you've done, where does that leave us?
3. Affection
Men are very physical human beings. Everything for us elevates with touch. By nature, we're drawn to it.
It goes without saying that a woman who is very free with her offerings of affection will entice us. It's very warm and welcoming to a man.
Just like you, we want a woman to reach out and grab our hand; we want for you to come over and kiss us randomly; we want for you to hug us and ask us how our day was. It evokes this feeling of being wanted.
It just strengthens that connection we have with you and opens up lines of communication, but more importantly, makes us feel comfortable — invited in, so to speak.
4. Intelligence
Stimulating conversations make a man go crazy.
Intelligent women are ones who know so much about the world around them, but even more so, have a keen interest in making it a better place.
They think critically and engage our senses. Furthermore, they have this drive to be successful, which in itself, can be the biggest turn on there is.
There's more to life than the latest handbag, designer shoe or next episode of your favorite reality TV show.
Bonnin StudioWe're guilty of it, too, bombarding you with football on Sundays or even forcing you to watch "SportsCenter" every night.
The decisions we face in life can often present us with uncertainty and having someone insightful by our side can help us make the right ones.
This doesn't require a degree from Harvard, or any degree for that matter, just intellect, reasoning and understanding.
5. Confidence
Life is difficult.
Every day is a struggle to get through and having a confident woman by your side is key to pursuing your dreams.
A woman who loves herself, regardless of her own flaws, will love a man for all of his. Beyond loving you, she will knock down the doors of resistance and reach for the stars with you.
There's something sexy about a confident woman, and it has nothing to do with looks.
To be truthful, we don't notice every one of your flaws. You know, the ones you spend hours in the mirror pointing out to yourself.
If we found ourselves attracted to you, know that we aren't analyzing every inch of your body to find perfection.
That doesn't exist, and we aren't looking for it.
Simone BecchettiKnowing she understands her worth is innately appealing. In essence, you're looking at someone who can complement you, not just be a trophy at your side.
She knows what she wants and isn't waiting for you to give it to her.
Beyond that, she's content with herself and her body.
As crazy as it may sound, confidence is something we can feel from a sexual point of view. It's almost like an energy that draws us in and makes for an even better sexual experience.
6. Ambition
Men love to be caretakers and “planners” for our families, but we also love a woman who can plan that life with us. We don't want to have to make every decision alone. We need a visionary, one who can see beyond today.
Determined women are more committed, simply due to the fact that they have laser focus.
There are no uncertainties about their futures because they understand what it takes to get there.
Failure isn't a choice for them.
Ultimately, a woman who is willing to push forward to be the best mother to her children or have a successful career is one who will strive for a successful relationship.
When things get tough, she won't be so easy to quit and walk away. If she lacks ambition, however, odds are that result might look a bit different.
Aspiring people, in general, usually figure out how to make things work.
7. Humility
Naturally, humble people focus their energies outward. When searching for a life partner, this becomes very attractive to a man.
Humble women exude this compassion for others, putting others' happiness before their own. But, they do this in such a way that brings them peace and protection.
Knowing that someone has this desire to put us first immediately shows that your ego won't get in the way of creating a strong partnership.
I think we understand the whole “let's play hard to get” mentality, but tell me how wasting all of that energy really serves you well? It doesn't.
If we decide to tell you how we feel about you, or even tell you how beautiful we think you are, don't look at us as if we have 10 heads.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to do that.
Be humble and have the decency to acknowledge it, even if you don't necessarily feel the same way.
There's this misconception that looks, popularity or even social status will find you true love, but it won't.
So, stop trying. What matters is whom you are — that's what a real man wants.
Just you, flaws and all.

Click here to register: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marriage-seminar-2018-tickets-40111994054

What men want from women?

2/9/2018

Valentines Day is only 5 days away. We have the weekend ladies to buy the perfect gift or make the favorite dinner (or reservations)...come on smile, you know you want to. I have been writing about what a woman wants from her husband and now we will look at what men want from their wives.

This information is from Crosswalk.com for more information here is the web site: https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/men/10-things-i-wish-women-understood-about-men-519042.html

Men: Here are the 10 Things you wish women understood about you and your needs:

To be lifted up - respect and admiration go a long way
A different style of communication - men and women are different in this area and the better we understand that, the more we'll understand each other
Some space - time alone or with other men
A Teammate - a woman who is loyal to the marriage team provides her man with the confidence that she's got his back no matter what
A structure of gender roles - fuzzy definitions of roles cause confusion
Sex - you need it, you like it, you wish we would initiate it and show some interest once in a while
To be free of stereotypes - Give you, our Christian brothers, more credit than Homer Simpson
Unspoken truths - some messages need to be understood without words
Freedom from criticism - it does not inspire you to greater love
Men have a deep desire to follow Christ - your intentions are pure

So men, that's what you had to tell us. Now for those of you who are curious about the specific quotes from the forum, read on. (You're safe with us, we won't tell anyone that you opted to read the ladies version.)

Ladies: We've got a lot of good stuff to chew on here. The following are the men's responses, and I think we can all learn from what they've said. By the way, I'll call you later so we can talk about it a little more

1. To be lifted up

"We need to feel like a man, a protectorate."
"Your man needs you to lift him up at all times, (not just to be told continually how he is falling short of your expectations for him and your relationship)."
"The number one thing I wish my wife would understand about me is how important it is that she build me up in my leadership role as husband and a father."
"Men just wish for respect, to know that their wives are proud of who they are and will proudly say, or at least think, "That's MY man.'"
"Your man needs you to believe in him, (especially if he's struggling with believing in himself)."
"Women should do what they can to BUILD UP their husbands by letting men know that they are good breadwinners, fathers, husbands, and friends.
"Men need reassurance that they are loved."

2. A different style of communication (for a humorous example about Roger and Elaine, read posts #28-29 in the Forum)

"Men like to hear not how special they are, but what they mean to you."
"Men expect a direct answer to their questions. My girlfriend has this problem with not giving me answers right then and she makes me go around the long way to get an answer. That just steams me."
"Men can not read minds."
"Men inherently do not like talking as much as women."
"Men sometimes are more direct and blunt when they communicate. It doesn't mean disrespect or dislike or a lack of love."
"Short responses to your long inquiries does not mean we "didn't hear you."
"Men do not like to analyze everything to death then just to resurrect it and start over.
"When I get upset or concerned and open up to my wife, I'm doing this because I'm truly at a loss for solutions, or I am extremely unsure of what I should do about something. When I bring this to my wife, I don't want to hear that 'everything's gonna be okay,' I want her advice, I want answers. That's what makes me feel better."
"No we can't read your mind, PERIOD."

3. Some space (by the way ladies, given the number of women posting messages in this Forum, we may need to heed this one in particular)

"Men like to have space, to do the things that make them feel good, fishing, hunting, hobbies just like women do."
"Men often don't mind being totally silent for a while, and just thinking. Not talking doesn't necessarily mean that the man is angry or trying to give her the 'silent treatment.'"
"Men, sometimes, need to rest -- hence the TV, remote control, and ignoring their surroundings. (Sometimes we do go overboard on this one)."

4. A Teammate

"To be able to bare ones soul to one's spouse about life, faith, family without criticism."
"Real men get tired of having to be the tough guy all the time. We sometimes need to bust and feel sad or weak. Don't think it makes us wimps."
"Men want to feel intimately safe, they don't like having their business shared, with ANYONE else."
"I really want to make things as easy as possible on her. It seems at times she thinks I'm not on her side...which kills me! I love her!"
"Men need to know that their failure will be met with loving arms and encouragement."
"When I say something or help out around the house, I am in NO WAY trying to demean her and tell her 'You're not capable of handling things yourself.' I'm just trying to help!"

5. A structure of gender roles

"To be appreciated for being the Man of the house and the spiritual leader of the home."
"Men need a clear definition between gender roles."
"Men like women who let them open doors for them or pull out a chair for them or help put their coat on, or stand when they come in the room."
"Men like women who act like women and not men."

6. Sex

"To not have to beg for intimacy, but to give one to the other equally without outside influences getting in the way."
(For those who are not married) "The thing I wish for most is that my girlfriend will want to hold my hand or just put it in the crook of my elbow without me asking. It is one of the best feelings of affection I know of."
"Men wish women understood the sexual needs of a man and its role in our lives."

7. To be free of stereotypes

"Real men do not show physical or emotional cruelty, nor do they want a 'trophy wife' to show off to their friends. However, we can be driven to kill by someone who tries to harm our loved ones!"
"I sense a growing frustration and some anger with the role men are being pushed into by the media bone heads. All men are not the same, and it's a mistake to presume that we all like or dislike the same things."
"Contrary to the Homer Simpson, Al Bundy stereotypes the media force-feeds us. Men are not universally stupid, lazy, and dependent on their women to bail them out of yet another stupid mess they've gotten themselves into."
"Men do eat quiche. My wife makes a whole grain, cheese, ham and cauliflower quiche to die for."

8. Unspoken truths

"Men have peace from the love and affection that they get from their spouse that speaks volumes over words."
"I recognize when I found my wife I found a good thing."
"Just because we (Men) don't say it (I love you) doesn't mean we don't feel it.

9. Freedom from criticism

"One thing I wish my wife understood is that constant criticism does NOT inspire me to greater love. How it frustrates me to sincerely want to make her happy and please her, but so often I try to do loving things for her, and I'm met with criticism (you're not doing it right; my way...)"
"If you're breaking down your man's ego at home, there is another woman out there who is building him up."
"Women, hear me out here. STOP saying you're fat and ugly!!!!! Nothing hurts your husband more than doing that. Your husband, at least I speak for myself, thinks you're HOT! Quit telling us we're wrong. Embrace the compliments."

10. Men have a deep desire to follow Christ

"We Christian men want desperately to be like Jesus Christ, no matter how we may stumble."
"Deep down we want to love them. Eph. 5:25, 'Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it.'"

So men, we hear you. We affirm you. And we love all of your efforts to be Godly and to forward His Kingdom.

So we have just a few spaces available for our 2018 Marriage Seminar at Waterfront Marriott in Morgantown , WV. You can register at https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marriage-seminar-2018-tickets-40111994054

The seminar starts Friday at 5:30 beginning with a social hour and then dinner will be served. Then Joe and I will each do only one session each. Your room is included at the all new Marriott and then breakfast will be served followed by Joe and I each doing one more session each. You will be all finished by noon. We believe the tools you will receive will set you up for a new start or the strength to take a fresh look at your marriage. If your marriage is already great you will enjoy great food, and time together in a great environment.

What every woman wants her man to know~#3 she wants tenderness.

2/8/2018

Ephesians 5:28-30 (NKJV) So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

Paul moves from the language sacrifice--to the language of tenderness. Literally, ‘nourishes and cherishes.’

Did you know that men actually look at themselves more times in mirror each day than women? Just as a man will nourish and care for his body, so a man is to nourish and care for His woman.

How do we care for our wives tenderly?

Be attentive in conversation (build)

Give your undivided attention to your wife. This means, when your wife wants to talk to you, put away your cell phone. Show by your actions that you care about her and what she is saying. Sometimes, she may be telling you about the minutia of her day. If it is important to her, show her that it is important to you. This is her request for connection.

Be gentle in disagreements

Gottman: “Men are often bigger than women and their voices deeper and louder. If you use your voice or your size to intimidate or to make a point, even if you don’t intend to do this, a woman will not feel physically safe with you and will not trust you completely.”

Be encouraging in hardships

When she comes to you with a problem, she rarely wants you to solve it for her. What she wants is for you to listen and encourage her. She wants to know that you are in there with her, not standing on the sidelines coaching her or even worse, just watching her.

Be helpful in stressful situations

Many times she does need you to jump in and help with the kids, dishes, projects, or whatever.

Be honoring in public

About the biggest mistake you can make guys is to say something publicly that demeans your woman, even if not meant to be derogatory. You may mean it to be light hearted and teasing, but she will rarely interpret it that way…take it from me.

Be attuned to her emotions

Research indicates that when men “attune” to their wives, it naturally leads to less fighting, more genuine intimacy, more frequent sex, and both men and women no longer feel so alone. It is also the skill that leads to general emotional connection, which leads to trust, which leads to giving women the number one thing they need and want—trustworthiness.

Tomorrow we will look at what a man needs. Forward these to a friend, or better yet encourage them to sign up for daily RPMDaily's so they can get their days going! Thanks for the help to get the word out.

To register for our upcoming Marriage Seminar go to https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marriage-seminar-2018-tickets-40111994054

What every woman wants her man to know~#2 Sacrifice.

2/7/2018

Ephesians 5:22-30 (NKJV) Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, The Gottman Institute, one of the secular leaders in marriage research, discovered that couples in which men are emotionally intelligent, listen to their wives, and allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.

Gottman says that the number one thing that women are looking for in a man is not a six-figure bank account or six-pack abs. The number one thing women look for is trustworthiness. Trustworthiness does not simply mean martial fidelity in the strict sense though that is essential to trustworthiness. It is also much more than that. Trustworthiness means doing what you say you are going to do. It is about reliability & accountability.

Throughout human history, a woman’s safety and sense of inner well-being, as well as that of her children, have been dependent on her partner’s trustworthiness. Gottman: “Fathers are the most critical factor in the health and success of children. When fathers are not involved with their kids, there’s a five times greater likelihood that the kids will live in poverty, a three times greater likelihood that they will fail in school, and a two times greater likelihood that they will have emotional and behavioral problems, use drugs, get involved in crime, or commit suicide. You can see why trustworthiness is such a high value.”

Today we look at the #2 thing that women need: She wants and needs your sacrifice 5:25-27

Men, we have to admit, we’re pretty selfish, aren’t we? And our wives know this and they are helping us be more giving and serving. (Jeff Foxworthy video “women training men)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.”

Notice how the Holy Spirit led Paul to write this. Husbands, love your wives. There is the command. How did Jesus love the church? He gave Himself for her, for us. How did He give Himself for us? He allowed Himself to be bothered, burdened, beaten, and eventually bludgeoned to death on a Roman cross. Romans 5:8 amplifies: “But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!”

Gentlemen, this is how we love our wives: we sacrifice for them. We take the lead in being bothered & burdened. We take the lead in the sacrifice department. I have never had a woman come to me yet who was contemplating divorce and say, “My husband loves me too much! He won’t stop serving me! Make him stop! I can’t take it any more!”

Guys, stop insisting on things being your way. Stop demanding she conform her desires to yours. Stop meeting your needs 1st. Look for ways to fulfill her needs. Defer to her desires. Every woman wants to know her man will give himself for her.

Come on women, don't leave me out here by myself. What do you want from your man?

Come on register today. I have some new sessions that will help you both fall in love with one another all over again.

Just click here to register: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marriage-seminar-2018-tickets-40111994054

I will be signing my new book. Some lucky couple will get their free copy. "Moments that Matter" is also available on Kindle as well as Amazon.

You can click her to get your copy now: https://www.amazon.com/Moments-That-Matter-Marriage-Devotional-ebook/dp/B079K6KVG4/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1517963419&sr=1-1&keywords=Moments+that+Matter

What every woman wants her man to know.

2/6/2018

Ephesians 5:22-30 (NKJV) Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

Men, this is what every woman wants you to know:
1. She wants and needs you to lead 5:22-24
2. She wants and needs your sacrifice 5:25-27
3. She wants and needs your tenderness 5:28-30.

Be attentive in conversation
Be gentle in disagreements
Be encouraging in hardships
Be helpful in stressful situations
Be honoring in public
Be attuned to her emotions

The Bible often compares the marriage between a man and a woman to the marriage between Jesus and the church. It was Hebrew custom at the time of Jesus that the man and woman would become what was known as ‘betrothed.’ It does not exactly equal our modern term of engagement. It was more than that. It was a legal arrangement between the man and the woman prior to the actual marriage ceremony. During that time, each would be diligent to fulfill their roles in preparation for marriage. She would remain pure, pristine, and wait for the day her lover would come get her and formalize the marriage. Meanwhile, the groom would go and prepare a place for them to live together. After the agreed upon time, usually about a year, he would show up unannounced. She would know the day, but she wouldn’t know the time exactly so she would look for an long for his return.
So when Jesus says in John 14 on the night He was with His disciples and about to be arrested: “I am going away to prepare a place for you. 3 If I go away and prepare a place for you, I will come back and receive you to Myself, so that where I am you may be also.” John 14:2-3, He had this in mind. When He tells the parable of the ten bridesmaids in Matthew 25, some of them were ready for the groom to come but others weren’t, He had this in mind.

In Revelation 19 we catch a glimpse of the glorious culmination of this relationship: “ Let us be glad, rejoice, and give Him glory because the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has prepared herself. She was given fine linen to wear, bright and pure. For the fine linen represents the righteous acts of the saints.”

Revelation 19:6-8 We who are believers are considered the Bride of Christ. While we wait for His return, we are to live pure and pristine lives. He is the Lover of our Souls. And we are most fulfilled when we find our deepest pleasure in pleasing Him.

So this analogy between Jesus and His church and a husband and wife, is packed with meaning.

Bible-believing folks have taken a lot of heat about some of the stuff in this passage here in Ephesians. But you know what’s crazy? There is a growing amount of secular research validating the biblical view of marriage and we’ll touch on some of it in a moment.

Men, this is what every woman wants you to know: Guys…take NOTES!

1. She wants and needs you to lead 5:22-24

“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, 23 for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.”

a. In every relationship, there is a leader. I have read 100s of business books on leadership, and every one of them cites this reality. AND, every one of them contends that the best leadership occurs in a healthy, give and take relationship where the leader does not consider himself/herself more valuable or more informed or more capable. It simply means that he or she naturally fits in the role of the leader, usually because of gifting and experience.

Good leadership is not a cold, top down, autocratic dynamic; it is a warm, symbiotic dynamic that is not only productive, but healthy and fulfilling.

In marriage, God has established the man as the leader. Men, that’s your role. It doesn’t make you more valuable. It doesn’t make you more informed. It doesn’t make you more capable. It doesn’t mean that your woman doesn’t have leadership qualities. Some of the best leaders I’ve ever known are women. But in this male/female relationship called marriage, men—you are tasked by God to be the leader.

Guys, despite what you may think, your woman wants you to take leadership in the relationship. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a woman in my office telling me that they want their husband to take the lead in the home and be faithful to the task.

Men, you may be thinking: “She sure doesn’t act like she wants me to lead! She fights me all the time for the reigns.” Well, that’s a whole different issue. Both the Bible and secular research indicate that a woman wants her man to be the gentle leader in the relationship.

Why? Because it triggers a feeling of security and well-being deep inside them when the man takes the lead in providing, protecting, and guiding.

In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, The Gottman Institute, one of the secular leaders in marriage research, discovered that couples in which men are emotionally intelligent, listen to their wives, and allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.

Gottman says that the number one thing that women are looking for in a man is not a six-figure bank account or six-pack abs. The number one thing women look for is trustworthiness. Trustworthiness does not simply mean martial fidelity in the strict sense though that is essential to trustworthiness. It is also much more than that. Trustworthiness means doing what you say you are going to do. It is about reliability & accountability.

Throughout human history, a woman’s safety and sense of inner well-being, as well as that of her children, have been dependent on her partner’s trustworthiness. Gottman: “Fathers are the most critical factor in the health and success of children. When fathers are not involved with their kids, there’s a five times greater likelihood that the kids will live in poverty, a three times greater likelihood that they will fail in school, and a two times greater likelihood that they will have emotional and behavioral problems, use drugs, get involved in crime, or commit suicide. You can see why trustworthiness is such a high value.”

Tomorrow I will discuss the next two points. If you are not already registered for our Marriage Seminar you can do so by clicking this link: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marriage-seminar-2018-tickets-40111994054

Bride of Christ acting like a peasant girl?

2/5/2018

All this month we are going to continue discussing the Bride of Christ and His love for us. This being said, I want to open today's Blog with this story:

Max Lucado tells a story from ages past about a stately prince and a peasant girl who fall in love. This really a difficult one to understand. On the one hand is a prince who literally had the world at His disposal. There has never been a more perfect specimen of a man that ever lived. Nothing about Him was common. You wouldn’t be exaggerating to say that He is a perfect catch.

On the other hand there is a peasant girl. She is nothing more than average. At her best she is plain, but at her worst she can be just plain ugly. There are times when she is cranky and moody, and she rarely ever achieves all she could. To look at her from anyone else’s eyes you would never believe she was worth much. But if you could see her through the eyes of the prince, you would believe that she is “to die for.”

Because the prince determined that He couldn’t bear to live without her, he asked her to be His bride. The angels in heaven listened expectantly as she accepted his proposal. The prince promised his bride that He would come back for her soon, and the peasant turned princess pledged to faithfully await his return.

To this point the story could be any of a number of fairy tales, but now the plot takes a bizarre twist. You would expect the bride to be always thinking about the coming wedding, but she rarely ever mentions it. You would think that her every waking moment would be lived out in anticipation and preparation for the coming of her prince. However, by the way she lives you wouldn’t even know she’s the bride of a perfect prince. More frequently than not, you can’t even tell the difference between the bride and any of the other peasant girls in the village. There are even times when she can be seen flirting with the other men of the village in broad daylight, and who knows what she is doing when nobody is around to see!

Can you imagine a peasant girl fortunate enough to be the object of a perfect prince’s eternal love? You would expect her to be captivated by His love and filled with a sense of wonder that she was fortunate enough to be loved by Him. You would think that she would be careful to remain pure in anticipation of the return of her royal groom. Instead, to look at her you might wonder if she even remembers she is engaged at all. How could a peasant forget about her prince? Is it possible for a bride to forget her groom? (Lucado, When Christ Comes, p. 138)

We read this story and say, "I would never act like that." We the Bride of Christ, have been espoused to Jesus Christ and He is coming back for us, and taking us to live with Him forever. So, why didn't the peasant girl's behavior change?

In order for us to change our behavior, we need a change of heart. When Saul had his encounter on the road to Damascus in Acts 9 it changed his life, his name and his behavior. Until the Bride of Christ has an encounter with Jesus, her behavior won't change.

This is why I do what I do. This is why I have a passion for sharing the message of Jesus Christ. We have heard, "People don't change until they hurt enough they have to, or learn enough they want to." Pain is a megaphone, but knowledge is a much more pleasant way of learning. Then, changing behavior because of the knowledge acquired takes time. Thank God, we serve a patient and long-suffering Savior.

What is God's greatest desire?

2/2/2018

Genesis 1:26 (KJV) "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth."

Genesis 1:27 (KJV) " So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

God's greatest desire is you!

How do you think God knew what to create to satisfy Adam? He knew because He created Adam in His own image and likeness. He knew what Adam wanted because that's what He wanted. God wanted a Bride! God wanted someone like Himself that He could talk to and walk with. God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. God has never given up on what He wanted. God will never give up on you. God sent His only son to keep us from being separated from Him for ever.

It wasn't punishment that drove Adam and Eve from the garden it was mercy. If they would have eaten from the tree of life they would have lived for ever in their fallen state. There would have been no hope for them. We can eat from the tree of life anytime we want when we get to heaven.

Revelation 22:1-5 (NASB) " Then he showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, coming from the throne of God and of the Lamb, in the middle of its street. On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. There will no longer be any curse; and the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and His bond-servants will serve Him; they will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. And there will no longer be any night; and they will not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because the Lord God will illumine them; and they will reign forever and ever."

In the wee hours of the morning with His Bride.

2/1/2018

I love the early morning moments when I first wake up and realize that I have been having a conversation with heaven. God has been programming me for my day. God has been helping me solve my problems and giving me answers to questions and issues I didn't know I was thinking about. People think they can jump up and run. In my over 60 years of life I am just learning God wants us to start our day just listening to Him. He created us for fellowship. He wanted and still wants us to be with Him. He is the groom who wants His bride to spend eternity with Him.

February is the month of Love. That being said, the author of love is God Himself. He is the most romantic person ever. He goes to prepare a place for His bride and a supper.

We are not going to be here, but I guarantee that it would blow up Twitter if we could Post photos of the supper He has planned for us. The Marriage Super is going to be one historic event. We not only get to be there, we are the Bride that He is celebrating! He has waited to drink the fruit of the vine for over 2,000 years, until this moment.

All this month I am going to be sharing with you the Love of God for His people, and what is God's greatest desire. How did God know what Adam wanted, when after he named all the animals he remained lonely?

Get ready to find out things you never knew about God our Father, and the difference between creating and making. Tell your friends to join me as we start a new journey together.

Assignment: Read Genesis 1